Lights on Humans: An Experiment

25 Sept

This month’s post is different. Most of what I write here is fueled by my personal experiences and shaped into something practical for you take away and use.

This one isn’t like that. It is a bit more intimate. It’s a story, the spark of an idea, and an invitation to connect.

It Began with a Talk

In July, I gave a keynote to a group learning Python for the first time. Some were already in tech doing frontend work; some had law or business degrees. Yet they all spent a whole week in a free, peer-to-peer bootcamp at Codam.

I had never seen anything like it before. There were no teachers. Only a curriculum, computers and a bunch of excited people learning together. A very good example of how peer-to-peer support can go a really long way.

I was invited by Equals to share my journey in tech to kick-off the event. And I thought long and hard about how to tell my story in a way that was actually useful.

If inspiration was only about listening to someone talk, they could have watched a recorded TED Talk. But here we were in person, in the same room. It needed to mean more. Something for this group of people, at this very moment.

So, I ended up making the first 15 minutes about my journey and the last 30 minutes about their wonders, questions, and anything they wanted to talk about so they felt empowered to shape it into what was most helpful to them.

And it worked — so wonderfully that sparked the idea that I share towards the end of this post.

The Part I Almost Left Out

While prepping, I thought hard about what to include. Should I share the very beginning?

That I grew up in a farming family in Turkey. That I worked in the fields picking tomatoes since I was 5. That I was the one paying every bill of the house at the bank every month when I was only 13.

That I’m the only one in my family to study, finish university, and leave home to live abroad.

That I didn’t have a computer until I landed in computer science at the uni —and fell in love with it. That I moved countries twice for better jobs and a better life.

And that, somewhere in there, I burned out doing the job I liked before building a way more sustainable career.

I included some parts. Left out a few.

My partner asked me, “Do you really need to share the burnout part? Isn’t it a bit heavy for such a short talk?”

True, people often find the topic difficult and heavy even though it is the reality.

But I wonder; if this happens to all of us and we never talk about it, how do we actually tackle it?

So I decided to share it. Just for a few sentences.

To say: this happens. It happened to me. It will happen to others. And that’s okay. Here is what I want you to know, and what I learned from it.

It took about 50 seconds of my talk.

You know what happened next?

In the 30 minutes of following discussion, half the questions were about my burnout experience:

How did I know it was happening?
What are the early signs to notice and take seriously?
How did I recover?
What do I do now to avoid going there again?

I was stunned. And so very glad I shared.

This experience made me see what we’ve been missing: real-time connection. Not the podcasts, the youtube videos or, shorts on social media. A raw two-way connection. The kind that grows bigger than the moment and reminds us we share the same messy, human experiences.

Turning One Moment Into Many Conversations

In today’s attention economy, quick posts and short videos don’t help us stay truly connected. We’re forgetting how to have real, raw conversations about the human side work. And it leaves us craving for deeper conversations.

A while ago a friend encouraged me, “You have so much to share. You should start a podcast. Make videos. Get your voice out there.”

Since then, I kept thinking about what would be the best way for me to do that without contributing to that noise social media has these days, and I kept remembering the keynote experience.

I don’t want one-way conversations. I want connection. Real conversations with the people who need it. So I finally figured out what that could look like.

Imagine a monthly, live low-key gathering to talk about things we all experience rarely talk about. Say it’s how it is like to burnout, how it is like to work in big tech, what it is like to prepare for interviews after layoffs, what it is like to advocate for yourself at work? You name it, we talk about it.

I’ll start sharing a story — from my experience or the people I work with — and then we talk. Questions, wonders, whatever comes up. Sometimes I will bring a guest, sometimes it will be just me and you.

So you have permission to hear that everyone is going through some confusion, some challenges. Have space to talk about the unspoken expectations at work. And have space to connect through real stories and remember: this is just what being human is.

Will it scale? I don’t know and, it really doesn’t have to.

Here is to connect, one person at a time.

Be Part of the Experiment

Lights on Humans is what I called the series. They’re free, low-key monthly online gatherings. You can join to listen or be part of the conversation.